One of the most incredible journeys a man can undertake is bringing a human life into this world with his wife or partner. It's an exhilarating time filled with excitement and trepidation, we are stepping into uncharted territory and that in itself is an extremely powerful and courageous voyage. There are many books and classes that try to help us make sense of the upcoming experience, though nothing can really prepare us for this ride.
There is hope that it will be all rainbows and skittles, but the truth is fatherhood is an overwhelming adventure with many swings and roundabouts. What is not explained is the pressure and vulnerability we experience when we strive to provide a beautiful foundation for the life we have just created. Finding our way through the odyssey of being a responsible parent leaves very little time for anything else in our lives.
A wise man once said to me, “just being there is 80% of it” now this was sound advice from a wonderful father in his own right. The flip side to this statement involves modern technology, there is no use being there if you are not engaged with your child. A number of fathers I see at the park, on their phones is staggering. Being in the present moment with your little ones is the most beautiful thing you can do for the both of you.
Then there is the misses, at times I took my father duties so seriously I disengaged from my wife and became so consumed with being the provider of the family, I lost touch with the most knowledgeable ally at my disposal. The misses can be the greatest sounding board and support network known to man, the tricky part is being emotionally vulnerable with your partner and discussing the challenges you are facing on a regular basis.
There is no need to battle alone when I began to express my feelings and openly admit I was unsure and struggling with many different aspects of being a dad, my wife and I engaged with each other and took our relationship to a whole new level. The truth is my challenges were very similar to her challenges and together we formed a team capable of overcoming and working through anything that life could present us with.
Long gone are the days of manning up and soldiering on, the evolution of being a Dad is now defined by our ability to dedicate ourselves to finding the balance between work, health, happiness and supporting our family. Nothing is more important than the love and unity we create within the four walls of our home. Be brave gentlemen and communicate with your partners, they are there to help you be the best version of yourself.
Love and prosperity,
James “the hammer” Harding
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